


Toe the Line

by ICarryYourHeart



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 00:18:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICarryYourHeart/pseuds/ICarryYourHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes despite your best efforts, you fell in love **Uploaded chapters 5 and 6**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Contact

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one of I don't know how many. Other lovable Suits characters will appear later on.

_The Law Offices of Pearson Hardman_

_Requests the pleasure of your company at_

_the annual fundraiser for the benefit of_

**_World Vision charities_ **

_Saturday, the twenty-third of February_

_7 o'clock in the evening_

_The Villard Ballroom_

_The New York Palace Hotel_

_455 Madison Avenue, New York NY 10022,_

 

"Damn," Donna said as she tossed her half-eaten bagel into the trash and flipped through her day planner to see where she could squeeze in a few extra Pilates classes. She grabbed her phone and sent a quick text to Rachel.

**Pearson Hardman Benefit**

**on Feb 23. Clear your schedule**

**you're coming with me.**

**Need to plan shopping date.**

Rachel's reply was almost immediate.

**Oh my god I just had a blueberry**

**Crumble muffin for breakfast, it was**

**NOT low fat.**

Donna snorted and thought of her bagel with extra cream cheese.

"What's so funny?" Harvey asked as he walked by.

Donna glanced up at him and ignored the flutter that always tickled her belly when she saw him unexpectedly.

"Nothing, you're in early."

Harvey shrugged and continued into his office. Donna sent a quick reply to Rachel informing her that they had a date with shopping and Pilates on Friday. She grabbed a stack of messages and walked into Harvey's office just as he was sitting down.

"You have a meeting at nine with Anderson Mobile, Mrs. Wright wanted you to look over a possible deal with Wilson Global, and" she dropped the messages and the envelope containing his invitation on his desk "The Annual Pearson Hardman Benefit for World Vision Charities." She recited.

Harvey sighed and grimaced at the invitation.

"We're still having that?"

"Wouldn't send a great message if we skipped it this year would it?" Donna replied.

Harvey pulled a face and opened the invitation, reading over it for a moment before glancing back up at Donna.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"No, just wondering who you're going to take as your plus one."

Harvey looked at her incredulously.

"I just got this five seconds ago."

Donna shrugged and propped a hip on his desk. "So nobody special?"

"No, why, do you have a date?"

"Yes," Donna said

Harvey set his invitation down with a frown.

"What, who?"

"Don't act so surprised," she said dryly turning back to her desk "I'm going with Rachel."

"Nobody special then?" Harvey parroted back to her.

"Nah, they get needy when you introduce them to your friends." Donna said over her shoulder.

* * *

 

    Harvey stared into space as his laptop was booting up, thinking about his impending meeting with Anderson Mobile. If Mike ever decided to show up he could let him handle some of the paperwork while he dealt with the great William "Bill" Anderson himself. Bill Anderson had to be placated constantly and could fly off the handle at any given moment, better to keep the accident prone Mike busy somewhere else. His eyes slid to Donna again and lingered. She was talking animatedly on the phone and he wondered who it was that was making her laugh. Harvey was snapped out of his train of thought when Mike burst breathlessly through the door.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a flat."  
Harvey merely raised his eyebrows.

"You should get rid of that damn bike." He said, shifting the large file towards Mike.

"And sit through hours of traffic trying not to kill myself because I'm trapped in an inescapable bubble? No thanks." Mike retorted, sliding his bag over his shoulder before dropping onto Harvey's couch.

Harvey frowned at Mike and tapped the Anderson Mobile file.

"I'm not paying you to sit on my couch."

Mike noticed the file and gave Harvey a sheepish grin.

"Right, who are we closing today?" Mike said, eyes already darting over the information in the file, unconsciously committing them to memory.

"He's already closed, and  _we_  are not meeting with Bill,  _I_ am meeting with Bill while you stay out of the way and make sure there are no loopholes in the deal he made with Lightning Tech LLC last week."  
Mike looked up at him aghast.

"What? I didn't do anything wrong."  
"I know, but Bill doesn't like change, so when I tell him I've got a kid handling his files he's going to flip and then I have to get Donna to calm him down again. Donna hates having to smooth his feathers; she says he smells like Menthol and stale coffee."

"Yeah stay away from him Mike," Donna's voice snapped from the intercom.

Mike looked out at Donna, who was grinning at him.

"Thanks for the faith in me guys," He complained loudly and stood to slide his bag once again over his shoulder and tucked the file inside.

"I'll just go be brilliant somewhere else then," he added and walked out.

Harvey watched as Mike stopped by Donna's desk to flip her hair before jumping out of reach as she slapped his hand away. Harvey smothered the grin inching onto his face as Donna turned to him and pressed the intercom button.

"Tell your associate to keep his hands where they belong." She said irritably, but Harvey could see the corners of her mouth were tilted upwards.

He nodded his agreement and pulled out his own much thinner copy of the Anderson Mobile case, glancing over a few key notes to refresh his memory.

* * *

 

 

    Harvey leaned back contentedly in his chair as Mike shook Bill Anderson's hand.

The kid had just saved Anderson mobile over a million dollars in a loophole that would grant Lightning Tech LLC the rights to any new additions to their current project and cut Anderson Mobile out completely. Mike, with a little fishing, had found they already had quite a few new innovations they hadn't bothered to mention. Plus they had a more advanced project waiting in the wings, which this multi-million dollar deal would fund very nicely.

Bill Anderson left happy, and Mike was strutting around Harvey's office pantomiming hitting a home run.

"I'm sorry, but remember when you told me to stay out of the way?" Mike said, turning to face Harvey.

Harvey just looked at him.

"Cause I do, then remember when I found that little thing about how Lightning Tech was totally going to screw over Anderson Mobile and make millions of dollars?"

Harvey pointed at his door.  
"I get it, you can go now."

Mike was unfazed and grinned at Harvey.

"I'm awesome and you know it. Say it."

"You're awesome and he knows it." Donna supplied from the door, smiling at Mike.

"Don't egg him on," Harvey retorted.

Mike grinned and placed a loud kiss on her cheek before turning back to Harvey.

"You should give Donna a raise."

Harvey's gaze fixated on Mike's hand still resting on Donna's shoulder.

"Sure I'll just take it from your paycheck." Harvey retorted, smiling when Mike's hand dropped away and he backed out of the office.

"Okay I'm leaving," he said over his shoulder.

Donna was smiling affectionately after Mike and walked over to Harvey's desk, dropping the Michelle Wright folder in front of him.

"You're scheduled to meet her in thirty minutes, do you need anything else?"

Harvey rifled through the Wright folder, scanning the notes.

"Do we have a copy of the partner agreements? She may run into a snag with that dick Willingham. Guy has a problem with women in authority."

Donna walked behind his desk and slid the file closer to her, looking carefully through its contents.

"No, I think it's in records."

She brushed absently at some lint that had found its way onto Harvey's shoulder.

"I'll go look for it," she said.

"I'll come with you; I need to give Mike some of the Folsom Foods files to work on." Harvey said, grabbing a few files from the looming stack beside his bookcase.

* * *

 

 

    The records room was quiet except for the sound of rustling papers. Harvey snapped a file down in frustration.

"That damn floating temp Cameron filed these. I don't know where anything is."

Donna slid the file box she was finished with back into place.

"Yeah that idiot really screwed things up didn't he?" She felt a guilty little punch of glee that her replacement had fallen so far short of her.

Donna glanced up at the filing box just out of reach labeled with a W, and pulled over a step stool to reach it. Her fingers just brushed it as she felt one of her heels slip from the step. She gave a little gasp and grabbed onto the shelf moments before Harvey's arm wrapped around her waist and she was set onto the floor. Her pulse pumped quickly and she made to step away from him, but ended up bumping back into the shelf of filing boxes.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just slipped." Donna said tightly, trying to ease back towards the step stool to retrieve the file box.

Harvey grabbed her arm and they both paused at the contact. They stood close enough that Donna could make out each individual eyelash that framed Harvey's eyes. She also didn't miss the fact that his eyes dropped to her mouth for a second before snapping back up.

"I'll get it." He said irritably, stepping onto the step and sliding the box from the shelf. He set it between them and they both rifled through the files in heavy silence. Donna tried not to think of the warm imprint his hand left on her waist. Her thoughts were racing and she almost missed the file.

"Got it," she declared triumphantly, handing the file to Harvey.

"Great," he said and turned around without another word, taking a moment to return the box to the shelf before leaving.

Donna waited until he was gone to lean back against the desk. For a moment there all the flirty banter and comfort of an easy friendship had disappeared and there had been tension and awkward silence. There was a reason they never touched each other anymore, innocent touches led to lingering glances and muddled boundaries. Once you toed the line it was much easier to cross it.


	2. Toe the Line Ch2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's funny how all it takes is one smile from Donna to make him forget just how damn irritated and tired he was.

"Lift those legs ladies!" The perky Pilates instructor chirped.

Donna groaned in agony, her legs trembling with effort.

"I can't!" Rachel puffed out next to her.

"Don't say can't! Only can!" The instructor screeched, zeroing in on Rachel.

Rachel pumped her legs furiously, looking back at the instructor fearfully.

"I'm pretty sure all that health food has messed with her brain cells," she hissed at Donna.

Donna's legs failed her as she tried to suppress her laughter.

"One minute planks!" The instructor shouted from a foot away as the two women forced their trembling bodies to hold out just a little bit longer.

* * *

 

It was the one Friday Donna had off every month, and Harvey stared irritably at her desk. She'd begun requesting the second Friday off once a month when she'd still been seeing that doctor and they had used the extra time to go away for long romantic weekends. After time the weekends had ended, but Donna had kept those Fridays off. She refused to tell him what she did with her time despite his constant badgering. The few times he'd actually rifled through her things to try and figure it out he'd usually been met with a note telling him to mind his own business.

He thought of trying to call her, but since he couldn't think of a valid reason he continued to glare at her desk .

Mike bounded in and Harvey glanced up at him, noting the huge smile on his face.

"What are you so damn happy about?" He grumbled.

Mike seemed unfazed. "Just saw Rachel," he said as his smile widened.

Harvey groaned, "Really?"

"Really," Mike repeated. "She was with Donna, they were doing Pilates. Have you seen what women wear to Pilates? They have these pants; Rachel looked really good in those pants." Mike put a hand to his heart and snuck a glance at Harvey who was staring at him with interest. He thought briefly about making a comment about Donna just to rile Harvey up, but self preservation kicked in and he grabbed another stack of files from the Folsom Foods stack. "Right, getting to work," Mike muttered.

* * *

 

Donna shifted listlessly through the dresses as she waited for Rachel to finish changing into a gown. The women were like night and day when it came to shopping. Rachel tried on everything while muttering to herself, and usually ended up overwhelmed and indecisive. Donna on the other hand searched meticulously through the selection, already knew which styles and colors worked for her, and usually only tried on a few dresses before picking one she knew she would love. So far, nothing had wowed her and her thoughts drifted where they so often had lately. Harvey. Things had flowed back to normal again after that tense moment in the records room, but then again they always did. They bantered easily, made fun of Louis, teased Mike, and at the end of the day they parted ways. Professional, friendly, and damn she missed those nights when they lingered in his office after work. She missed just being with him, seeing his smile unguarded and his eyes full of friendly warmth. Donna admitted it was her fault that she'd left the office just a little bit early as of late, usually when Harvey was preoccupied with something else, because she knew if he asked her to stay she wouldn't hesitate.

"Donna!" Rachel's voice snapped her out of her reverie.

"Sorry, Wow! Please buy that dress right now, you look amazing." Donna said, walking over to Rachel to smooth the gown into place.

Rachel looked exquisite, but she bit her lip uncertainly.

"Are you sure? Because it's a bit low cut and the price" she snuck another peek at the price tag. "Oh god, a month's salary for a dress?" She whimpered.

Donna gave her a light smack on the head.

"Look at yourself, you look like a goddess. This dress is worth two months' salary. Besides, Mike is going to suffer when he sees you in this dress."

"I'm over him" Rachel said, giving Donna a look in the mirror.

"Doesn't mean you can't still make him suffer," Donna replied.

"Oh my god I'm buying this dress" Rachel said, grinning at her reflection. The dress swept elegantly along her frame serving only to enhance her already gorgeous curves, and a high slit revealed smooth tan legs. A sleeveless sweetheart neckline showed off her collarbones and just enough cleavage to tremble on the border of professional and office slut.

They browsed a few more stores until Donna found the winner in a smaller boutique selling last year's designer dresses. She spotted it as soon as she entered. The silk slid over her skin like water and the dress fit like a dream. She stepped out of the changing room and grinned when Rachel gasped.

"Oh my god Donna, you look amazing! "

"Damn straight," Donna said, turning around. The dress made her skin glow and her hair flame. Iridescent peach colored sequins sparkled on peach silk, and traveled up on airy mesh to float off the dress and onto her skin. The back parted just enough to tease, and clung seductively to her curves.

"Donna, you're crazy beautiful already, but that dress." Rachel sighed dreamily. "You may just stop a few hearts."

Donna's mind jumped immediately to Harvey and she cleared her throat

"It's not worth much if I don't," Donna replied and her voice sounded funny even to her. When her eyes met Rachel's in the mirror she saw her questioning look. "I think I'll have to alter the front here," Donna went on, gesturing to the low cut cleavage that dipped well below her breast bone.

They left the boutique and Donna could swear she heard her credit card crying.

"Let's get drunk," she decided and Rachel agreed wholeheartedly.

"Maybe then I can forget that I I'm going to be eating Top Ramen for a month," Rachel said miserably.

"Oh cheer up, if that dress looks half as good come the night of the benefit you won't have to worry about paying for dinner at all."

* * *

 

Harvey massaged his temple wearily as the day drew to a close. As if the Folsom foods cases weren't draining enough of his time, he had four other cases in various stages of completion and he couldn't help but appreciate how Donna kept it all from muddling together like this now that she wasn't here. He'd snapped at Mike so much today that the kid had decided to seek refuge in his cubicle with the other first year associates rather than stay in his office. Harvey stared blankly at the file in front of him and snapped it closed.

If Donna were here she would have taken his mind off the case and chattered amiably with him while he brainstormed. She filled him in on all the office gossip as if he was supposed to care, which he really didn't. It was the sound of her voice that kept him listening, and the way she sometimes laughed, or they way her eyes sparkled when she was really excited about something. She had a great laugh, the kind of laugh that warmed you up from the inside and before you knew it you were smiling too.

Smiling was exactly what he was doing when Louis walked by his office, and since their relationship thrived on besting each other, preferably with a healthy dose of humiliation, Louis stopped in the doorway.

"What's with the dreamy smile Harriet? You writing in your journal?"

Harvey's face registered shock for a moment before it smoothed into an emotionless mask.

"What do you want Louis?"

Louis grinned happily and swaggered into Harvey's office.

"I was looking for Donna, but then I noticed you sitting there daydreaming, doodling hearts and rainbows all over your journal." Louis leaned over and inspected the file that lay open on Harvey's desk. Harvey snatched the file and held it to his chest.

"Oh what's the matter Harvey, are you scared I'll see that you were writing Pearson Specter all over it?" Louis sneered, gesturing to the folder.

"Why were you looking for Donna? Trying to trick her into going to another play with you?"

Louis smirked and straightened.

"Please, Donna and I enjoy each other's company."

Harvey gave a disbelieving laugh.

"I believe the last time you two went anywhere together was because Donna needed a favor and you badgered her into it."

Louis shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and gazed back at Donna's desk.

"Where is she anyway? I didn't see her today, is she sick?"

"None of your business," Harvey supplied

"Whatever, I'll just call her." Louis said, purposely knocking a file off Harvey's desk as he left.

"Dick" Harvey muttered, feeling suddenly much better.

He was struck with a sudden moment of inspiration and called Ray.

* * *

 

Donna stared into her drink as Rachel chatted with a handsome stranger.

"Hey there beautiful, it looks like you're getting tired of that drink. Can I buy you a new one?"

Donna glanced up to see the guy who'd been eyeing her all night smiling down at her.

"I'm good thanks," she said dismissively and he nodded his understanding before moving on to his next target.

"Okay that is the third guy you've turned away tonight. What's up?"  
Donna looked up again to see Rachel giving her the same questioning look she had earlier in the evening.

"It's tiring having men fawning over me all the time, a girl needs a break sometimes."

Rachel gave her a look and slid back into the barstool beside her.

"Yeah, I'm not over Mike either," she said. When Donna only continued to stare at her, Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Donna if there is one thing a woman hopelessly in love with a blind idiot can spot; it's another woman hopelessly in love with a blind idiot."

"I'm not in love with Harvey."

"Donna, come on."  
Donna sighed and took another sip of her now warm drink.

"I'm not," she said without much conviction.

"Yeah, I know," Rachel said touching her arm sympathetically.

"When did you become so irritatingly perceptive?" Donna complained.

"Ever since I became friends with you, actually."

Donna grinned at Rachel and then shook her head.

"Well I've never moped around and felt sorry for myself before and I'm not about to start." She announced. "I just brought a dress that makes my ass look like the Pilates instructors' and I have a really long bubble bath waiting at home for me."

Rachel laughed and grabbed her purse as they stood. "That sounds amazing, I have a book that has been sitting on my nightstand for over a month now. Who needs men when you have bubble baths and chocolate?"

"And a good vibrator," Donna quipped.

They laughed as they left the bar and Rachel nearly bumped into Harvey.

"Harvey," Donna said in surprise.

"Hey Harvey, goodbye Donna!" Rachel piped up, and Donna felt a surprising urge to strangle her friend.

Harvey merely smiled at her as Rachel waved down a cab in record time and left them alone.

* * *

 

 

Harvey felt the irritation and weariness wash off him instantly as he heard the familiar laugh and saw Donna come into view. Her smile, playful and unguarded, faded into a look of surprise when she saw him. He supposed he was surprised too, the last time they'd been at this bar had ended in the night they never talked about. That was the last time they'd met each other outside of work in over five years.

"Harvey,"

"Donna." He replied, grinning down at her.

"You couldn't keep your files straight again could you?" Donna asked, and she relaxed into a playful smile again.

Harvey shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk alongside her.

"Please, you act like I can't function without you."

"You can't," Donna said, laughing when he bumped her shoulder playfully.

"Yeah you're probably right, but then again if you didn't get to organize every aspect of my life into neat little sections you would be bored out of your mind." He returned.

"So I should thank you then?"

"If you felt so inclined."  
Donna laughed again and they slipped into a comfortable silence as they walked.

"I'm hungry, have you eaten yet?" Harvey said suddenly.

"Yes," Donna replied.

"Oh, well, there's a really great sandwich shop down the street. You can have one of their famous cream puffs, it's the size of my fist." Harvey said, grabbing her elbow and gently guiding her in the direction of a glowing sign that read 'Johnny's Sandwich Shop.'

"Oh I really can't eat that." Donna said and Harvey stopped and turned so suddenly that she nearly bumped into him. They were uncomfortably close and she tried to step away but he'd grabbed her arm, forcing her to remain where she was.

"You never turn down dessert, what's wrong with you?"

"The benefit is in week and my dress doesn't leave room for giant cream puffs."

Harvey rolled his eyes and dragged her along to the sandwich shop.

"Just take some more Pilates classes if you're that worried." He said irritably.

"Quit pushing," Donna said, shrugging out of his grip. "And how do you know about my Pilates class anyway. I told you to quit snooping through my things."  
"Mike told me."  
"Mike told you?" Donna repeated in surprise "How does Mike know?"

Harvey had placed his hand on her elbow again.

"He said he saw you and Rachel this morning." Harvey turned as they entered the shop and smiled down at Donna. "He told me that you looked good in your Pilates pants."

Donna smacked him lightly and made a disgusted face

"No he did not," she said.

"Okay, he said Rachel looked good in her Pilates pants, but that's because he's too scared of me to say you looked good in your Pilates pants."

"Why don't we stop talking about my Pilates pants, which are very baggy by the way, and don't do anything for my figure." Donna said

"Please," Harvey scoffed, and turned to the kid behind the counter. "I'll have the turkey with sun-dried tomatoes and two cream puffs."

"I don't want a cream puff." Donna complained.

"It's not for you." Harvey replied and Donna rolled her eyes. She knew he had bought her the damn cream puff.

They sat together at a booth and Harvey bit hungrily into his sandwich while she looked over the case notes on his phone.

"Just take it already." Harvey finally said, and Donna glanced up to see him pushing the cream puff towards her.

"You've been eyeing it for the past fifteen minutes; don't think I didn't see you." He said.

Donna made a frustrated sound and pulled the cream puff closer. She didn't miss his satisfied look when she bit into it.

"Sweet merciful crap this is good."


	3. Chapter 3

He was hovering.

Donna shifted through the files that lay in front of her as Harvey peppered her with questions.

"Did Michelle Wright call back yet?"

"No," she answered distractedly, scanning through a list of names.

"What about Willingham, he should have gotten our call by now." He shifted to the other side of her desk and Donna grit her teeth.

"He probably hasn't had a chance to call back yet, Harvey."

Harvey placed a hand by her elbow and leaned over her shoulder.

"Bull, who doesn't get their messages?"

"What does it matter Harvey, Michelle fired him last week." Donna said, easing him out of her space.

He stopped dead and became an immovable mass.

"I can't do anything with you breathing down my neck, shoo." Donna said, pushing lightly at his arm.

He remained where he was, frowning at her before looking into his office. His eyes had gone distant and she knew he was thinking about something. Her eyes traveled over his face, the features as familiar to her as her own. Brown eyes that could warm you with affection, or slap you with their coldness, the creases around his eyes that made her stomach flip when he smiled just so. The strong jaw that her fingers had caressed only once, and the lips that- his eyes regained focus and snapped to hers. She was trapped motionless in his gaze, intensity thrumming between them. His lips were parted, as if he was about to say something but forgot. She saw the question come into his eyes, the way they examined hers as if he could find whatever secret lay behind them. She hoped to god he didn't.

"I think I found something," he finally said, his eyes flicking away. He stepped back and turned to her

"Come on,"

"I can't, I have calls to make." Donna said, moving back to her chair.

"They can wait," he said impatiently and curled his fingers around her elbow, pulling her with him. Donna snatched her arm from his grip and walked alongside him.

"Fine, don't complain when I don't get these calls done on time. Where are we going?" Donna asked irritably.

Harvey ignored her and walked towards the elevators. "What do you know about Willingham?"

"Guys a dick, doesn't like answering to Michelle Williams, and he will do anything in his power to stop this merger because he knows it will prove the Michelle is more than capable of running this company." They turned a corner "He's probably still a little pissed because he got fired," She added dryly and Harvey grinned.

"Maybe a little," He said and pulled out his phone to show her the email "Which is why this morning I got word that Willingham is suing Michelle for wrongful termination, stating that he was being fired in retaliation."

"Which means I need to find the copy of his employment contract for you," Donna said

"Last time I got a paper cut."

Donna snorted as they rounded a corner. She saw the mail cart moments too late.

"Watch it!" Harvey shouted, yanking Donna out of the way.

She was tucked snugly against him as he snapped at the terrified mail carrier.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Donna told the mail carrier who hurried off.

"You need to watch where you're going," He said, releasing her.

Her heart was still pounding from the close encounter with the mail cart and his proximity wasn't helping.

"There aren't usually mail carts speeding at me." Donna said, straightening the wrinkle in his suit where she had clutched him for balance. Harvey grabbed her wrist and she stilled. Their eyes met and held, his challenging hers.

"Why do you seem so distracted?" He asked, his fingers still clamped around her wrist.

"Oh I don't know Harvey, maybe because my boss has four different cases open and I'm not even close to being done with the Folsom Foods calls."

"Really, because you've been dropping things all week, you've stopped drinking your lattes which means you're already jittery enough, and twice already you've forgotten your phone at your desk and I had to run all over the office looking for you. Not to mention the near mail cart accident, which would never have happened if you hadn't been so distracted, so what is it?"

Donna's eyes darkened and she could feel the angry flush heating her cheeks.

"Do you have a problem with my work?" She asked dangerously.

"Don't put words in my mouth, I asked why you're distracted." His grip on her wrist loosened and his thumb made a slight caressing move across the underside, sending a jolt down her arm straight into her belly.

"Your pulse is fast." He added, stepping closer to her.  
She knew he was trying to intimidate her with his proximity and resented the fact that he caught her lie. Donna snatched her hand from his grip and slapped his phone to his chest.

"I'll go get your file." She said and turned around to punch the elevator button. "Alone," she added when he made to follow her.

She was seething as she rode the elevator down to records.  _Arrogant son of a bitch_ , she thought.  _Complaining about my work when I do more for him than any other secretary would even be able to handle, with his demands and moodiness, then having the nerve to ask why I'm distracted?_

The elevator dinged as the doors slid open and she strode out. Mike saw her in the hallway and his smile faltered.

"Uh, hey Donna, have you seen-"

"The Ogre is in his office." Donna snapped and brushed past him.

"I was going to say Rachel, but okay." Mike said, watching her retreating form.

Donna yanked the file box from the shelf and set it down on the table with a snap. Her temper was fading and she was slowly starting to realize Harvey was right, she was distracted. Ever since Rachel had confronted her at the bar she'd been wondering if her feelings for Harvey were as obvious to everyone else. It had all started with that little bug Hardman had planted in her head, and if she could be honest with herself, when Louis had demanded an answer to "do you love Harvey Specter?" The feelings she'd been so good at closing away had been ripped right out into the open and now she just couldn't seem to fit them back into that little box. Now she was nervous and jumpy and terrified Harvey would somehow figure things out and she would be humiliated again.

Donna felt stupid enough already, carrying a torch for her boss after all these years, when he was clearly over her.  _I'll just have to get over it;_  she thought to herself and pulled the file she needed from the box. She had been in love with him all these years and nothing had changed, they didn't have to start changing now. Donna Paulsen didn't pine over men, especially Harvey Specter. On Saturday night she was going to cozy up to some handsome man in a tuxedo who would flirt and flatter her, because come on who wouldn't in that dress, and Harvey would be the last thing on her mind, as he should be.

* * *

Harvey strode back to his office, irritation evident in the set of his shoulders. He liked things just so, and when things were off, the only thing he could concentrate on was getting them back. With the future of Pearson not Hardman anymore in danger, the Folsom Foods cases, plus his regular case load weighing on him, the last thing he needed was for Donna to be off her game. He supposed he wasn't helping, hovering around her and popping out of his office all day to ask her questions he could easily answer himself. He thought back to their conversation just moments ago, when he had tried to force an answer out of her. Nothing put Donna's back up faster than when he questioned her like she was one of his witnesses, and he supposed that insinuating that her work was slipping was going to come back and bite him in the ass. He was being demanding and he knew it, but that had never bothered her before, she always took his snarls with a grain of salt and when at the end of the day he put something from the bakery on her desk she accepted the form of apology with a knowing smile.

Harvey scowled as he leaned against his desk, contemplating how he could win Donna over. Something from the bakery would probably end up smashed against his forehead, and if he tried to get her that designer bag she'd been eyeing she would probably stab it with a letter opener. When she was this pissed it was better to forgo the peace offering and go with a simple 'I'm sorry'. He hated having to actually say I'm sorry, it poked at his pride and forced him to admit he'd been wrong, something he never liked to be.

Mike stepped into Harvey's office.

"Dude, what did you do to piss of Donna?"

"Don't call me dude," Harvey said in disgust "and leave it alone."

Mike raised his hands in surrender, "Whatever, I was just trying to help; Donna's scary when she's pissed."

"Did you finish with the Folsom Foods cases I gave you?"

"Yeah and of the three, two of them are easy wins, except for Parkville. It's the one division with a female manager and the highest ratio of female executives."

Harvey looked over the files Mike showed him and made a few suggestions. Donna came in and set the file carefully on his desk. He attempted an apologetic smile but was shot down with an icy glare.

"Ouch," Mike said and laughed at Harvey's pained expression.

Harvey silenced him with a look and they continued to pore over the files.

"I need you to calm Donna down for me." Harvey whispered conspiratorially as Mike was getting ready to look over a new batch of cases.

Mike's eyes widened. "What? No, I didn't piss her off. Why do I have to do it?"

"Because you're my associate, and I told you to."

Mike looked nervously at Donna and then back at Harvey.

"Just get her some flowers or something." He suggested hopefully.

Harvey shook his head "No, she'll throw them out. It can't be from me, I need you to soften her up, she has a soft spot for you."  
Mike looked pleased at that.

"Really?"

"Yes, really, now go." Harvey said, making sure his voice didn't carry to the intercom he was sure was on.

Mike walked out of the office and waved hesitantly at Donna who only looked at him, then quickly backtracked and disappeared down the hallway.

 _Wuss,_ Harvey thought, shaking his head in frustration. Now he'd have to brave Donna's temper on his own. He hit the connect button on the intercom that allowed him to hear the end of her conversation with someone from tech support. Donna sounded pleasant enough, her voice carried its usual lightness as she told the person on the other line about some problem her computer was having. He decided to test her anger at him and hit the call button.

"Hey Donna could you bring me a copy of the e-mails between Michelle and Willingham?"  
"No problem," her voice was polite, and encrusted in ice.

Moments later she appeared with a stack of emails that she set carefully on his desk. She left his office without a word.

Harvey shifted uneasily. Donna rarely lost her temper, but when she did he knew to stay well out of her way until she decided to forgive him.

He was shifting through the e-mails when he saw Mike appear again with a bunch of white lilies and a box of what looked like cupcakes. Harvey punched the connect button on the intercom again and waited to see if Mike could pull it off.

"Hey Donna," Mike said, smiling down at her with full boyish charm.

"Hey Mike," Donna said, smiling pleasantly up at him.

"These are for you," Mike said, handing over the gifts.

"Are these from Sugar Sweet Sunshine?" Donna said, her eyes widening as she took the box.

"Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you," Mike said, setting the flowers on her desk.

Harvey groaned as he watched Donna's shoulders stiffen; the kid had been so close.

Donna froze and eyed Mike warily, "What do you want?" She asked, her voice tinged with suspicion.

"Nothing, can't I just do something nice for you?"

Donna ignored him and set the box of cupcakes down, scooting back from her desk.

"Leave those," she warned as Mike made to take back the cupcakes. Mike nodded and left, mouthing "I'm sorry" to Harvey behind Donna's back.

Donna walked into his office and stood in front of him, crossing her arms.

"Really?" She asked, her voice had none of the coldness it had held before, and the corners of her mouth lifted lightly.

"I had to try," Harvey said shrugging his shoulders. They watched each other for a moment before Harvey pursed his lips and said "I'm sorry."

He watched Donna's lips part in surprise and her face soften.

"So am I, you were right, I was distracted." She admitted, crossing the room and standing by the window.

The light made her hair gleam and he was stunned for a moment by how utterly beautiful she was. It amazed him that after all these years he could still be stunned by her beauty. She turned and leaned against the windowsill.

"So I heard Louis tried to hit on Lauren from accounting and she threatened him with a restraining disorder," Donna said, a smile playing around her lips.

Just like that, they were back and Harvey grinned at her.

"He does come on a little strong." Harvey said and Donna laughed.

"She said he skulked behind walls and bookcases for a week before approaching her." Donna added, her eyes twinkling in delight.

Harvey snorted and grimaced, "God that's creepy."  
"Tell me about it," Donna agreed.

* * *

Donna rubbed her temples as the words on the screen in front of her blurred. It was already 9 pm and Harvey and Michelle Williams were still in the conference room sealing the final details of the merger. Last she'd heard Harvey had twisted some part of the employee agreement around and gotten Willingham to settle for a measly five thousand on the grounds that he sign a contract stating he wouldn't seek further action.

The sweet scent of cake and frosting wafted to her and she sighed before taking another cupcake. There were already three empty spots.

"You sweet tempting little devil." She muttered to herself before biting into the cupcake.

"I bet that would taste better with a drink." Harvey said, and she barely stopped herself from yelping.

"God Harvey, don't sneak up on a woman when she's having a moment."

Harvey raised an eyebrow and grabbed the box of cupcakes.

"Whatever, are you going to share these?" He said already going into his office.

"No, I need those." Donna said, trailing after him, cupcake still in hand.

She settled on his couch and Harvey put on a record filling the air with soft music. He poured a drink, handing one to her before filling his own glass. The liquor went down smooth and contrasted sharply with the sweet cupcake.

"50-year old scotch, a gift from a very grateful client," Harvey remarked.

Donna sighed at the heat spreading in her chest.

"Sometimes it pays off to be good at what you do." She said, slipping out of her shoes and propping her feet up on the coffee table.

Harvey joined her on the couch and grabbed a cupcake, biting into it.

"This is all icing." He complained as he frowned at the cupcake.

"If you don't like it give it to me." Donna said, reaching for the treasured treat.

"I'm still deciding if I like it or not." Harvey said, holding the cupcake out of her reach.

Donna rolled her eyes and reached for another cupcake.

"Now I'm going to have to take a kickboxing class, "Donna said, licking icing from the tip of her finger. She missed the way Harvey's eyes followed the movement.

He laughed suddenly and she glanced at him in confusion.  
"What?"

"Last time you took that kickboxing class you were hobbling around for three days."

"I was not  _hobbling around_." Donna said indignantly, "I may have had a slightly altered walk because the muscles in my legs had been completely destroyed.

Harvey snorted and patted her thigh absently. "You don't need a kickboxing class you have great legs."

"Why do you think I always wear skirts? Somebody's got to appreciate all the work I put into these." Donna said, lifting her leg experimentally.

Harvey rolled his eyes and took another sip of scotch.

"This is the best scotch I've had, hands down." He said decidedly, holding it up to examine it.

"Better than the scotch we had after you made partner?" Donna asked incredulously.

Harvey seemed to think it over for a moment. "Hmmm, better."

"Really, I would have thought nothing could top that."

Harvey shrugged.

"What can I say; after we almost finished the bottle I couldn't feel my face, much less taste the scotch. I'd like to think we've grown from that moment."

"We'll see about that after you get your name on the door." Donna replied.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The office was empty and silent save for the music flowing into the air. The music went from whimsical to achingly beautiful and she padded barefoot across his office to stare out the window. Visions of summertime and fresh sunny skies flooded into her mind as she listened to Miles Davis play the trumpet. She turned and leaned against the windowsill and watched Harvey as he watched her. It was the comfort of years of friendship and a deep affection that pulsed between them now and Donna sighed contentedly before closing her eyes and losing herself in the music.

* * *

Harvey watched Donna leaning against the windowsill. Her eyes were closed and a small smile curved her lips as she listened to the music. He watched her for a long time, the desire to go to her getting stronger with each passing moment. He wondered what she would do if he pulled her into his arms and swayed her to the music. They had crossed the boundary between professional and romantic once before, it had almost ruined them. He wanted her in his life more than he wanted a few nights of carnal bliss. So they had put the moment behind them, ignored it, never spoke of it. Harvey wondered at the logic of pretending like that night had never happened sometimes. Never dealing with it made nights like these, when desire would jump up unexpectedly and hook its claws in him, inevitable. Harvey set his glass down with a quiet clink. Perfectly aged scotch ran through his blood and quieted the voice that told him to stay where he was or get the hell out. He crossed the room to her, stopping only when he was less than a foot from her and she blinked her eyes open in surprise.

"What?" She asked.

Harvey frowned down at her, wondering what magic she held that made her so irresistible to him.

"Harvey?" She was looking up at him, eyes full of questions and he stepped closer to her, threading his fingers into her hair.

Donna's eyes widened and she set her glass down on the windowsill.

"I should go," she whispered, her eyes dark and round.

"Yeah," Harvey said, letting his fingers slide from her hair to her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed and he was gone.

* * *

Donna's breath stuck in her throat as she realized what was happening. His fingers slid down to caress her neck and despite herself, her eyes fluttered closed. The next thing she knew his mouth was on hers, demanding, and hungry. He wasn't gentle and he didn't try to seduce, he only took. He gripped her hips and yanked her roughly against him. Their bodies strained against each other and Donna wrapped her arms around his neck. His teeth grazed her mouth and the moan that escaped her lips seemed to snap them both back into reality. They stared at each other for a long silent moment and Donna could practically see the gears working in Harvey's head.

She stepped well away and cleared her throat.

"Well, that was, um. Okay we both had a bit to drink and…" She trailed off.

Harvey was just looking at her, his eyes dark and troubled.

"It's okay; I know it didn't mean anything." Donna said, going to collect her shoes. "It was just, you were there, and I was, and we just…" She shrugged and slipped on her shoes.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine." Donna said. He was still quiet so she turned and hurried out, her face flushed and her dress wrinkled. It was fine, it was just a kiss, not like last time when she'd, Donna shook her head. It was fine, she was going to make damn sure it was fine.


	4. Chapter 4

Music blended with the voices that drifted through the air. Harvey stood observing the crowd, scanning the people for a glimpse of red hair. He started towards a redhead in black, but stopped when she turned and he realized it was someone else. They hadn't spoken since he'd kissed her in his office last night. His finger had hovered over the dial button on his phone more times than he could count today, but he always ended up slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"You have got to taste these crab things, they're delicious." Mike said from behind Harvey.

Harvey turned to see Mike holding a handful of crab canapés and shoving one in his mouth. Mike offered him one and Harvey grimaced.

"You look like an animal, put those down." He said, frowning at Mike who was stuffing another canapé into his mouth.

"They're amazing." Mike said around a mouthful of food and offered one to Harvey again.

"Come on Harvey; don't be afraid to love it."

Harvey's retort slid off his tongue as Donna appeared at the door. She actually glowed, he thought as he watched her pass through the crowd talking to Rachel. She'd pinned her hair up in some sort of complicated curling mass with tendrils hanging loose to frame her face. The dress clung to her body in a shower of sparkling peach.

Mike watched Harvey go slack jawed and looked around in confusion. He spotted the women at the same time and though he took a quick moment to appreciate Donna, he had eyes only for Rachel.

Harvey left Mike standing with his mouth agape and approached Donna

"You look incredible." He said as he came closer, noticing the stares of men around the room. The possessiveness he felt was pushed away almost as soon as it came.

"You don't look half bad yourself." She retorted

"We should talk." Harvey said after a moment of silence. Donna looked at him and sighed.

"There isn't really anything else to discuss."

Harvey's eyes narrowed and he leaned in,

"You're the one who always wants to talk about everything and now all of a sudden you have nothing to say?"

Donna pursed her lips and glanced back at Rachel who was deep in conversation with a fellow paralegal. Mike was hovering behind her and Donna shook her head. Men really were all idiots.

"Fine," She snapped and grabbed him by the arm pulling him through the crowd. They stopped in a corner slightly hidden from curious glances.

"What exactly do you want to talk about Harvey?"

Harvey gave her a look "Donna, you-"

"Yes Harvey we kissed, it was a mistake and I left. What else is there?" Her eyes met his and held in a challenge.

"Are we… Is this going to be okay?" He asked, looking carefully at her. Donna's gaze met his straight on and betrayed nothing.

"We kissed, I left you in weak-kneed puddle on the floor." Donna shrugged her shoulders and gave him a cocky grin. "I'm fine if you're fine."

"I'm fine." Harvey said then narrowed his eyes at her "and I was not weak at the knees."

Donna laughed "Please, you were trembling like a schoolgirl."

Harvey shook his head. "The size of your ego is alarming."

Donna smiled at him "you've got mingling to do." She glanced at Mike who seemed to be stuttering something at Rachel. "Oh and you might want to peel your associates' tongue off the ground, he's drooling all over Rachel." Donna gestured to the pair.

"He has no pride," Harvey said before going to rescue Mike.

* * *

Donna watched him go and gave herself a congratulatory pat on the back. All this being in love with Harvey business was just a fluke. It was easy to get confused when everyone kept asking you if you were in love with your boss. She watched with a laugh as Harvey dragged Mike away from Rachel who was glowing with pleasure. Her eyes met Rachel's across the room and she winked. Rachel grinned and turned to the man standing beside her who was every bit as besotted as Mike was.

"Donna, wow" Louis breathed from behind her.

"Louis," Donna said with genuine pleasure.

"You look exquisite, a siren in a crowd of sea hags."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," She said with a laugh, thanking the waiter who handed her a glass of champagne.

Louis waved the waiter off and turned his attention back to Donna.

"My lady, may I have this dance?" He bowed low and Donna smiled at his exaggerated manners.

"I don't know Louis," She looked warily at the small knot of people dancing to the classical jazz band.

"I won't take no for an answer."

Donna shrugged and let him take her hand.

"Of course Louis, I would be honored." She gave a small curtsy and laughed at his delighted look.

He pulled her to the dance floor and she was surprised that Louis was quite agile. He made her laugh when he dipped her and she found she quite enjoyed his company.

"May I cut in?" The voice belonged to a handsome man with a voice smooth as honey.

Louis handed her over and Donna found herself being guided along in the arms of a very attractive stranger.

"Todd," he said with a charming smile

"Donna"

"Donna, may I say that you are by far one of the most beautiful women I've had the chance to meet?"

Donna met his eyes and appreciated the slow burn of attraction reflected in his "You may," she said with a cheeky grin.

She wasn't aware of Harvey's dark gaze as he observed them.

"What firm are you with?" Todd asked,

"Pearson Har… Pearson." Donna finished awkwardly.

"Ah, I heard about the split, seems like you guys are doing well enough without the other half." Todd said moving them in a slow turn.

"You're not one of Hardman's spies are you?"

Todd grinned and his hand slid along her back.

"I'd like to think I would be a lot less nervous around beautiful women if I was."

Donna smiled at his easy charm.

"I need some food, the champagne is making my head woozy," she said stepping back from him.

Todd slid a hand around her waist and leaned towards her. "No that would be me."

Donna laughed and allowed him to lead her to one of the tables holding hors-de-oeuvres.

* * *

Harvey watched with building irritation as Donna danced with another man. His attention was never far from her as he mixed and mingled with different guests. It usually didn't bother him if someone else showed interest in Donna; he never cared if she showed interest back. It never made him feel possessive like this. Harvey frowned as he watched Donna being led away by the man she'd been dancing with, his hand resting at her waist.

"You know you could at least try to smile."

Harvey looked up to see Jessica giving him a stern look.

"I'll smile when I don't have to answer anymore badly disguised questions about how the firm is holding up."

Jessica shook her head and looked out over the crowd.

"We've fended off attacks, we'll do it again." She murmured, taking a sip of champagne. When Harvey didn't answer she glanced at him. His mouth was set in a grim line and he was staring at something across the room. She followed his gaze and saw Donna talking with another man, they were standing close and the man was touching her arm.

A knowing smile curved her lips and she cleared her throat.

"Donna looks gorgeous; I'll have to ask her where she found her dress."

Harvey merely grunted and swirled the scotch in his glass slowly.

"Rein it in," Jessica warned, giving Harvey a meaningful look, "I can't have you off your game." She left him and pasted a smile on her face as she greeted a group of investors.

Harvey scoffed at Jessica's warning and turned back to glare in Donna's direction. She was gone. He took a step forward and stopped. Jessica was right; he needed to rein it in. This thing with Donna was a distraction, and he couldn't afford distractions right now. It was natural for them to cross the line sometimes, he thought. They were attractive people working in close proximity, they had a history. Donna was fine, and he needed to be fine too. He couldn't keep thinking about the kiss and expect to be fine. It was like biting down on a live wire and though he would die before admitting it to Donna, he had been just a little weak in the knees when she'd walked away.

"Why does that asshole think he has the right to paw at her like that?" Mike growled next to him.

Harvey looked at Mike in shock before realizing his gaze was trained on Rachel who was talking to one of the associates.

"Leave it alone." Harvey warned, doing a quick scan of the crowd again. Where the hell was Donna?  
"Yeah, like you left Donna alone?" Mike snapped, glaring accusingly at Harvey.

Harvey's eyes snapped coldly to Mike's.

"What the hell did you just say to me?"

"I'm not blind Harvey; anyone –"

"Drop it." Harvey warned, stepping closer to Mike, his gaze threatening.

"Whatever goes on between Donna and I, that's off limits to you."

Mike's gaze was mutinous "Funny, you sure had a hell of a lot to say about me and Rachel."

* * *

Donna walked with Todd as he led her to the closed off patio where an indoor garden held stone seats and small fountains. He handed her a drink and she listened halfheartedly to his story about one of his first cases as an associate at the law offices of John Nicholson and Associates. Guilt was nibbling at her and she tried to push it away. There was no reason to feel guilty, Harvey didn't want anything from her, and she should be enjoying the company of the man currently interested in her. Donna wasn't prepared for Todd to kiss her, so when he did she tensed for a moment, struck immobile before pulling away apologetically.

"I'm sorry, this is moving a little fast for me," Donna stood up and set her drink on the table.

Todd stood as well and looked genuinely sorry. "God I'm sorry, I usually don't kiss a woman barely an hour after I've met her. Guess I was caught under your spell," he said playfully.

Donna tried not to pull a face at the sentiment and managed to smile back at him.

"It's okay, I should go." She said, and walked away before he could say anything else.

Donna walked briskly back into the ballroom and was just about to find Rachel and tell her she was leaving when she saw Harvey. Their gazes locked and she felt her heart give an unsteady kick and a flutter. He walked towards her and she remained where she was, unable to move. She cursed herself for allowing Harvey to have this pull on her. She was a strong independent woman dammit, and she wasn't supposed to go all fluttery and weak at the knees like a young girl with a crush.

"Where were you?" Harvey asked, and Donna felt a tiny curl of guilt.

"I was with Todd," Donna said, crossing her arms in a sad attempt to shield herself from him. Harvey's eyes flicked behind her and Donna resisted the urge to turn.

"Seems nice," sarcasm dripped from his words

"He was," Donna said flippantly "great dancer," she added, conveniently forgetting he'd stepped on her feet twice.

Harvey shrugged and Donna sighed irritably.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing, just he seemed…" Harvey trailed off, looking meaningfully at Donna.

"He seemed what?" Donna asked, cocking a hip and raising an eyebrow "Charming? I know you're not familiar with the concept."

"I'm charming," Harvey said indignantly glancing back at Todd who was looking curiously at the two of them.

Donna snorted and made to brush past him.

"Yeah, when you want something," she tossed back at him. She never expected him to grab her hand. The gesture was strangely intimate for them, and she paused to look down at their joined hands. He was watching her when she looked back at him.

"I want this dance," he said, gesturing to the dance floor.  
Donna's heart fluttered again and she clenched her jaw. She was so damn tired of feeling so out of control. Her whole life had been a series of neatly planned events and organized spaces. This, this thing was a rolling mass of emotions and desires and it left her feeling scattered. She didn't want it.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said tugging her hand free.

"Why, are you not over the kiss yet?" his eyes lit with a dare.

"What kiss? Oh," she said, her lips quirking with humor "please"

"Prove it," Harvey said, holding his hand out.

"Fine," Donna said, putting her hand in his. Harvey's fingers closed around her hand, warm and solid. It was an anchor in a whirlwind of unsteady emotions.

She was a little breathless as he spun her quickly before settling her in his arms. Harvey always went balls to the wall or nothing at all, she thought.

"That was maybe a little charming." She decided.

"That was a great move, you were practically swooning." Harvey said, allowing his fingers to trail onto the skin where the dress opened at her back. She tried to ignore it, but as his fingers moved slowly in a gentle caress she felt a small tremble travel along her spine. She knew he felt it too because he was grinning down at her in that infuriatingly cocky way of his.

Because Donna could never resist a challenge she slid the hand resting on his shoulder to his neck and let her fingers brush gently behind his ear and into the hair on the back of his head.

His eyes darkened and the hand at the back of her dress fisted in the fabric and brought her snug against him. She could feel his heart thundering in his chest and couldn't resist the final jab.

"Problem?" She asked sweetly.

His gaze dropped to her mouth and she had a feeling he was about to let her know just how much of a problem it was.

"Mind if I cut in?"

Jessica's voice was like a splash of cold water and Donna eased out of Harvey's arms. She smiled tightly at Jessica before hurrying to get her coat. These were the kinds of things that got her and Harvey in trouble. That love of verbal sparring that could so easily shift into something more.

Donna glanced back once more at Harvey before handing her ticket to the coat attendant. He was frowning at Jessica, but then his eyes met hers. A thousand unspoken words passed between them and she lifted her hand in a small wave. He nodded and she turned to go home, grateful that the flurry of emotions raging inside her had finally settled. She didn't dwell on how oddly empty it felt to be back to normal.

* * *

Harvey stared after Donna as she walked away and Jessica squeezed his arm.

"Cut it out," she warned.

Harvey shifted his gaze back to her, "cut what out?"

"Are you ready to open that can of worms?" She asked, piercing him with a look.

"What can of worms?" His face was an emotionless mask.

"Quit playing dumb Harvey you know what I mean. Do you really think that messing with what you and Donna have right now is the best idea? You have a lot on your plate; this is a distraction you cannot afford."

"Okay, first of all, Donna is none of your business; second, Donna is not a  _distraction_ , she is… _"_ He trailed off, shaking his head.

Jessica raised an eyebrow, looking at him for a long moment. "Walk with me." She said.

Harvey released her with an irritated sigh and walked with her to the enclosed patios.

"I don't know what has been going on between the two of you lately, but I remember the last time you crossed the line between professional and personal. It almost destroyed your professional relationship. Normally I wouldn't care, but you can't seem to function without her, so ask yourself this Harvey. Are you willing to throw all that away for one night?"

Harvey's shoulders stiffened and he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"As I said, it's none of your damn business."

"It is every bit my damn business. I need you Harvey; I cannot have you distracted right now. Any other time I would have let the chips fall as they may, but right now somebody needs to talk some sense into you. Part of the reason you're great is because of that woman, don't screw it up." She looked at him and he swore he saw a glimmer of regret. "I like her Harvey, and I know how much she means to you." Jessica turned and left him to stew in his own thoughts.

Harvey stood only for a moment looking after Jessica before he called Ray.

He was tired of dancing around the situation. It was about time they faced this thing between them head on. Twelve years of swerving and avoiding was too long.

* * *

Harvey walked the steps to her apartment and rapped twice on the door. It swung open and Donna looked up at him in utter surprise.

Her hair hung loose around her face and he could tell by the way her dress pooled at her feet that she must have taken off her heels.

"Harvey?"

"I'm not over it." He said

Donna nodded and stepped back wordlessly, inviting him inside. She closed the door behind him slowly and turned to face him.

"Maybe you should get over it."

"Are you?"  
"I could, if you would just give me a damn chance."

Harvey growled in frustration and paced the length of her apartment.

"What, so we can dance around this thing for another five years? Until it happens again? We need to talk about this Donna."

"You avoid talking about your feelings at all costs and now all of a sudden you're freakin' Oprah?" She snapped, glaring at him.

"You're the one always prying and prodding into my personal life and now when it concerns you, all you want to do is sweep it under the rug."

Donna looked at him from across the room.

"You're right," she shrugged "I don't know how to handle it," she admitted.

Harvey stepped closer to her.

"I care about you," he waited for her to look at him "you must know that."

"Of course I do," she said, holding his gaze.

"I don't want anything to change; I don't want to lose you again."

"I'm not leaving Harvey." Donna said, stepping back.

Harvey nodded and walked to the door, opening it.

"So we set rules again," he said, stopping in the doorway. "No time outside of work."

"No lingering glances, I see you checking out my ass." Donna said with a smile.

"No touching."

"That was you this time," Donna said.

"No low cut dresses." Harvey said with pointed look

"No well cut suits," she replied

"That's not an option."

"Fine, but you burn the red tie."

"The red tie?" he asked quizzically

"The one you wore when you kissed me."

"Okay," He said

"Okay" she repeated.

Their gazes locked and Harvey swallowed hard. He wavered only a moment before shutting the door again and reaching for Donna. He crushed his mouth to hers and savored in her gasp of pleasure. He pushed her against the door, holding her there with his body as he assaulted her mouth. He slipped out of his jacket and tossed it carelessly somewhere behind him. Donna's deft fingers attacked his bowtie with relish, loosening it quickly before unbuttoning his shirt. Harvey pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the general direction of his jacket. He fiddled with the back of her dress looking for the zipper and contemplated just ripping the thing off when Donna jumped back.

"Oh no you don't this dress cost over eight thousand dollars." She said struggling for a moment before he heard the zipper. The dress slid off and landed in a shimmering pile at her feet. He looked at her in pure male appreciation as she stood before him, red hair glowing and loose, white lace making her look both innocent and utterly sexy.

"I know," she said with smile of pure satisfaction.

Harvey grinned and grabbed her, covering his mouth with hers again.

"Bed," he mumbled, maneuvering her to the bedroom. She tore her mouth from his and tried to struggle away.

"Wait I should hang that." She said, looking back at the dress.

"Leave it," Harvey demanded, walking her back into the bedroom and pushing her onto the bed.

He slipped out of his pants and shoes before covering his body with hers again. She moved against him, hooking a leg around his waist to press him directly against her. He groaned and pressed his mouth against the side of her neck as she rolled her hips against him. She gave a sharp gasp of pleasure as he closed his mouth over her breast and her hand trailed into his hair and fisted there.

"I can't wait Harvey," she gasped as he ground against her, his mouth pleasuring her breast while his thumb traced the opposite.

"You always were impatient," he mumbled not making a move to appease her.

Her hand closed around him and squeezed and he gasped out a breath.

"Okay, no playing dirty." He said pinning her hands above her head.

"What, you can't take it?" Donna challenged, her eyes dark and aroused.

"No," Harvey said lowering his head to kiss her again, gently this time. Her eyes were unreadable as he lifted his head again. He slid into her slowly, and something inside him shifted. He covered her mouth with his and moved against her, swallowing her moans of pleasure. They made love the way they worked together. A give and take, each anticipating the other's needs while discovering new ways to make the other tremble. She arched her back in that final peak of pleasure moments before he collapsed against her, spent. They lay that way for a long time before he rolled to the side, bringing her tight against him.

"I'm not really a cuddler," Donna mumbled sleepily against his shoulder.

"Shut up," Harvey said before brushing his lips against her hair.


	5. Chapter 5

Harvey woke to sunlight streaming through the window in Donna's apartment. He shifted and his hand brushed against warm skin. Donna lay beside him sprawled on her stomach, her hair spread on the pillow. Harvey trailed his fingers along her spine, dropping lingering kisses on her shoulder as she stirred. Donna rolled over and blinked open sleepy eyes, her makeup from the previous night was lightly smudged around the eyes and her hair was tousled from sleep. She'd never looked more beautiful.

"Morning," he said brushing her hair from her face.

"Morning," she said quietly, her voice still raspy from sleep.

Silence stretched between them as they both stared at each other. Harvey cleared his throat and rolled onto his side, watching as Donna sat up and leaned against the headboard, clutching the sheet to her chest.

"Well, I didn't think it was going to be this awkward." Donna said after a moment.

Harvey smiled and reached for her.

"It'll probably be less awkward if we do it again."

Donna shrugged her shoulders and gave a quiet sigh as his lips moved to her collarbone.

"You're probably right," she said, pushing him onto his back and straddling him.

"I'm always right," he replied as he gripped her hips.

She stepped into the kitchen barefoot in jeans and a light cashmere sweater, her hair still damp from the shower. Harvey stood in her kitchen in his pants and shirt from last night, sipping coffee from one of her mugs. She noticed that he'd taken the time to pick their clothes up from the floor and drape them over the couch.

"I wasn't sure where to hang that," he said, gesturing to her dress.

"I'll get it later," Donna said, reaching for a mug. She sighed in pleasure as she took her first sip of coffee. They stood side by side in her kitchen in companionable silence.

Harvey reached across her to set his empty mug in the sink and slid a hand around her waist, pressing his lips into her hair.

"Where do we go from here?" He murmured, slipping a hand underneath her sweater to trace patterns on her bare hip.

"I don't know," Donna said setting her coffee down as his lips covered hers. She stepped back, bumping against the counter. "We'll see where it goes." She said, lifting a hand to trace his jaw.

He pressed a kiss into her palm.

"Is that what you want?" He asked, brushing his lips along the inside of her wrist.

"Yes, is that what you want?"

He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and tugged her lightly against him.

"I think you can guess what I want," he said deepening the kiss.

It took her breath away every time he kissed her. His teeth grazed her lips and he sucked her lower lip into his mouth, biting it lightly before soothing it away with a kiss. Her breath hitched and ended on a sigh and she felt his fingers dig into her hips as he lifted her onto the counter. The kiss turned desperate as his hands streaked up her back, pulling her sweater up and over her head.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed, pressing kisses to her jaw. Her heart dipped and her fingers fumbled on his shirt. He moved her fingers away and undid the rest, tossing his shirt once again on the ground. He slid his hand into her hair and tugged lightly, exposing her throat and trailing his lips along its length. Donna felt the tremble run up her spine and she fisted her hands in his hair and brought his mouth back to hers, drowning in him.

They lay together on her kitchen floor still wrapped in each other, a thin sheen of sweat coating them. Donna closed her eyes and just breathed him in, the scent that was uniquely his, mingled with the flowery scent of her shower gel. She chuckled softly

"What?" he asked

"You smell like flowers," Donna said, smiling against his chest.

She felt him press a kiss to her temple and the gesture made her heart tip dangerously. Fear curled and rooted in her chest as she realized just how completely he held her heart. This wasn't something she could put into a neat little box and file away.

Donna swallowed the unease beginning to build and sat up, pulling her sweater on over her head.

"I'm starving, do you want an omelet?" She looked back at Harvey to see him eyeing her warily.

"Maybe we should go out to eat," he suggested, reaching for his pants and pulling them back on.

"What's wrong with omelets?" Donna asked suspiciously.

Harvey cleared his throat uneasily, "Nothing, just wanted to try out that new breakfast place on Spring Street."

Donna narrowed her eyes and poked him in the chest with her finger "Oh my god, you're thinking of the dinner party," She accused, poking him again "I can cook just fine, I was nervous."

Harvey raised an eyebrow "you're never nervous."

Donna stood and pulled on her jeans.

"That was an exception," she grabbed ingredients from her fridge, setting them on her counter as she heated a pan.

Harvey watched her as she cracked eggs in a bowl and added ham, green onions, and cheese.

"Mushrooms?"

"Sure," he said watching the process suspiciously.

Donna sliced mushrooms and tossed them in with the eggs before pouring half the mixture into the pan.

The eggs popped and sizzled loudly and Harvey reached over to turn down the stove.

"Your pan's too hot."

Donna rolled her eyes and reached for a spatula in the drawer.

"Go sit, I've made an omelet before." She said, ushering Harvey to the barstool by the island counter.

She flipped the omelet and noticed a few burnt spots. Donna glanced in Harvey's direction before cutting them off with the spatula. She slid the omelet into a plate and started on the second, which fell apart when she tried to fold it over. Donna stared at the omelet for a second trying to remember if she'd added salt. No definitely not, she decided and sprinkled salt over both omelets before setting a plate in front of Harvey.

She watched him take a bite and chew. His face showed no expression as he took a second bite. Typical, he would never admit he was wrong. Donna took a bite of her omelet and froze. Yes, she had definitely added salt the first time. She chewed slowly, looking at Harvey out of the corner of her eye. He was slowly putting another bite in his mouth, trying to hide a grimace.

Donna took another bite and swallowed quickly, it was over salted and the egg was still raw in the middle. This was why she always had a smoothie for breakfast. She set her fork down and pushed the omelet away.

"Fine, we can go out for breakfast."  
Harvey set his fork down with a clatter and pushed the omelet away.

"That wasn't so bad," he said

"Just call Ray." Donna said exasperatedly

Monday morning Donna woke in Harvey's apartment. Despite the overnight bag she'd packed she still felt flustered and rushed. It didn't help that Harvey made a grab for her every time she passed him.

"Harvey stop it we're going to be late." Donna said, jumping out of his way as she hurried back into his massive bathroom to dry her hair. She was clad in underwear and a bra and she didn't miss his appreciative looks as she hurried around his apartment grabbing coffee and rummaging through her bag for her makeup. Donna sighed in pure female pleasure, she felt wonderfully loose and used.

Harvey stepped into the bathroom behind her and squirted shaving cream into his hand, applying it to his face. Their eyes met in the mirror and he winked at her. Donna smiled and patted his butt playfully.  
"Looking good Harvey," she said.

She saw the glimmer in his eyes only moments before he put a blob of shaving cream on her nose. Donna shook her head despite the smile curving her lips.

"Okay if that's how you want to play" she said, making a grab for the shaving cream. She pointed the can at Harvey and sent a stream of dense foam flying at his chest. Harvey made a lunge for her and she dodged, sending more shaving cream streaming out from behind her. He scooped some shaving cream from his shoulder and it landed with a soft plop in her hair.

"Dammit Harvey, now I have to wash this out" she protested, spraying more foam at him. He was quick and had nipped her around the waist before she could jump out of his way again.

"Hand over the can and nobody gets hurt." He said, clamping his arm tighter around her as she wiggled.

"Let go," she said aiming the can at his perfectly styled hair. Harvey snatched the can from her and emptied it onto her head, grunting as she elbowed him in the gut.

"You're an idiot," she said looking at her reflection in horror. Harvey laughed as she scooped the shaving cream from her hair and he got a face full of shaving cream. He grabbed at her again and smeared shaving cream down her chest. They tumbled to the floor, wrestling and giggling like teenagers, slopping and smearing shaving cream everywhere.

They were two hours late.

Donna had forced him to wait five minutes after she entered the building before he came in. Now she sat at her desk scrambling to do the work she was supposed to have started hours ago. Harvey winked at her when he passed her desk and she had to struggle to hide her smile. She was well aware that she'd been smiling like an idiot all morning. Donna took a deep breath to settle herself and gathered a stack of files as she headed to the printer room. She was halfway there before she realized she had forgotten to hit print and had to hurry back to her desk and send the information to the printer.

Harvey pinned her with a smoldering gaze as she looked up from her computer and she nearly dropped her files. Donna gave him a look as she pushed down the intercom button.

"You better stop looking at me like that if you expect me to get anything done today."

"Sorry but it's a bit distracting when I know exactly what you've got on under that dress,"

"Quit ogling me at the office if you want to see it again, I've got work to do." She warned

"Your boss won't care if you slack a little, he knows you're distracted." He grinned lazily at her.

"Until I really do slack and he starts complaining, my boss is a hard-ass."

"Your boss has a nice ass."

"That's not what I said,"

"It's what you meant."

Donna laughed at that and hit the intercom button again.

"Listen why don't-"

"Hey Donna," Mike said cheerfully

She jumped six inches off the desk and sent her files skidding across the floor.

"Jesus Christ Mike what is wrong with you!" Donna said scathingly, glaring at him as she stooped to pick up her files.

Mike bent down to retrieve the scattered files, his eyes huge.

"I was just saying hi," he said, handing the files over carefully.

Donna waved him off and hurried to the printer room.

Harvey hid his grin as he watched Donna leave. It was a nice boost to the ego knowing that he could fluster the usually level-headed Donna.

"What's with Donna?" Mike asked as he came in.

"Why do you always ask me that," Harvey said as he shuffled through the files on his desk.

"Because the two of you always know what's going on with each other." He grabbed a file from Harvey and flipped through it.

"Donna's fine," Harvey said distractedly, looking for the blue Sheffield case file. He spied it on Donna's desk and went to retrieve it thinking she may have been right, which didn't matter because he would make up for it later, he thought with a smile.

"Sheffield is being sued for sexual harassment," Mike read out loud as he scanned the file, "he was banging the coffee girl." He said with interest. "Oh now she's suing, office affair gone wrong," Mike said as he flipped through the file with waning interest. "Why are we handling this?"

"Because the real reason she's suing is because when she asked him to leave his wife he dumped her, and now she's threatening to spill the beans to his wife. So we are going to try to get her to settle and sign a contract stating she won't tell the wife so scumbag Sheffield can keep screwing around in peace " Harvey said pulling out Sheffield's recorded statement.

Mike looked over the statement frowning in concentration.

"Why's Sheffield so worried about his wife finding out?"

Harvey flipped the page and pointed to a paragraph at the bottom, "The Company is in his wife's name and he didn't sign a pre-nup so at least half of his money goes to her in a divorce, more if she gets a good lawyer." Harvey tucked the file under his arm and walked out. "And remember we want to settle so try to avoid using the words 'banging the boss'," he warned.

"I'm always professional," Mike complained as he followed Harvey to the conference room.

They passed Donna on the way and her quick intimate smile caused his brain to short circuit, his usual laser focus muddled. He tossed the file to Mike.

"Go ahead and get the meeting started, I'll be there in a minute." He said turning back.

"What? Why, where are you going?" Mike floundered outside the conference room as Harvey waved him on

"I'll be there in a minute, go," he said.

Mike straightened his tie and greeted the opposing council as Harvey went to find Donna.

She was just coming out of his office and looked up in surprise when she saw him.

"I thought you had a meeting with Sheffield."

"I do," Harvey said as he grabbed her elbow.

"What are you doing?" She protested as he pulled her alongside him.

He whipped them around a corner and glanced quickly around to make sure no prying eyes were on them before pulling her into the supply closet. She opened her mouth to ask a question but he already had his mouth on hers. She made a sound caught between a sigh and a moan and he fisted his hand in her hair. He absorbed the feel of her, the scent that made her Donna, and the way her body trembled against his. She put a bracing hand on his shoulder and he released her, resting his head on her brow.

"I never really noticed how damn distracting you are," He finally said as he got his breathing under control.

"And kissing my brains out was supposed to solve that problem?" Donna asked.

"It seemed like the logical approach" he said with a shrug.

Donna's lips curved in amusement and he opened the door, doing a quick check of his surroundings.

"We're good," he said as she stepped out behind him.

"No more making out in supply closets," Donna said as she ran a hand through her hair and casually walked beside him.

"I can't make any promises," Harvey said and gave her a playful swat on the butt as she turned away. He didn't bother to hide his grin when she yelped in surprise and shot him a heated look.

"Stop it," she hissed under her breath.

"Looking good Donna," he said.

Harvey felt a million times better as he headed into the meeting with Sheffield.

She ended up in his apartment after work so often that she'd started leaving an outfit or two there for convenience. Somehow her shampoo had ended up alongside his in the shower, and the tea she drank before bed sat in his kitchen. On the increasingly rare nights they did spend apart, Donna woke feeling like something was off. The feeling made her nervous. Tucked away in some deep corner of her heart was the fear that he would decide he was done with her and that would be it. Too damn bad for her that she'd gone and fallen in love with him.

Donna felt her chest tighten at the thought and she slipped out of his bed and went into the kitchen.

She grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge and sipped, the cool liquid soothing the burning in her throat.

Her mind drifted to the first time they'd crossed the line between office flirtation into something more. They'd been slightly drunk and she'd invited him up to see the apartment she'd moved into barely a month before. Their playful teasing had turned suddenly serious when Harvey stopped and saw the picture of the two of them with his father. It had only been three weeks since he'd died. Suddenly there was no playful air and he'd ended up on her couch with his head in his hands. She still didn't know when she'd gone from comforting him to straddling his lap, her mouth fused to his. Even then she had known that they would never have recovered if things had gone further than that. Her fingers tightened on the bottle as she remembered how quickly things had gone from heated to cold and awkward.

She'd pulled back and rolled off him, trying to catch her breath. He'd reached for her, but she stopped him, telling him that if they were to sleep together things could never be the same again, and that she could fall in love with him, and that she knew he wasn't ready for that so he needed to go. She still remembered that quick glimmer of something in his eyes that had made her heart swell with hope as he looked at her. But then he had simply nodded and left, not turning back once. She still remembered how her almost love confession had driven him away, still remembered the horrible emptiness inside of her as he distanced himself from her. She could never tell him now; she would never survive being pushed away again. Donna gripped the counter as her chest tightened painfully again. She needed distance, just a little time so she could get control over her emotions again.

There was a whisper of sound behind her and she turned around, all traces of her inner turmoil already gone from her face.

"You were gone," Harvey said, it sounded almost like an accusation.

"I was thirsty." Donna said holding up the water bottle.

He nodded and stepped past her, grabbing his own bottle from the fridge. The night air was quiet around them as the stood in the moonlit kitchen.

"I need Friday off, my parents have been begging me to come down for a long weekend." Her voice broke the silence.

"Take all the time you need," he held out a hand. "Are you coming back to bed?"

Donna placed her hand in his and allowed him to lead her back into the bedroom. He pulled her close when they slipped under the covers and the beat of his heart lulled her to sleep.

"Ray can drive you to the office today; I have a breakfast meeting with a potential client." Harvey said as he tied his tie around his neck.

Donna paused in the act of brushing on mascara.

"I'll take a cab its fine," she said

"I'll take a cab, you go with Ray."

"A client won't want to sign on with a lawyer who can't even afford his own driver."  
"I can, he's just driving my girlfriend around."

They both froze and he watched Donna raise an eyebrow in the mirror before she turned to him to straighten his tie.

"Your girlfriend huh?"

"Okay you know what, forget it. I'll take the car; you can go in the cab."

Harvey tugged his tie a little to the left and gave her a withering look as she stared at him, her lips curved in amusement.

"You can stop looking at me like that now." Harvey said irritably.

Donna gave his tie a light tug, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Are we going steady now?" She asked, her eyes dancing with amusement.

"You're going to be late for work." He said, prying her hand from his tie.

Donna laughed and blew him a kiss as she left.

Harvey found himself stepping into a flower shop as he left his meeting with his now new client. He felt foolish and almost walked out again but he shook the feeling off. He was just buying some flowers dammit; there was no need to get so worked up about it. There were roses and lilies and carnations and a host of other flowers he couldn't even begin to name. He stood in the flower shop so long the cashier was starting to give him strange looks. He grabbed a bunch of lilies in desperation and was just about to hand them to the cashier when he saw a small bunch of cheery yellow flowers tied with a blue ribbon. They instantly made him think of her and he handed them over to the cashier,

"Do you deliver?"  
"We do, would you like to have a card made out?"

He panicked, looking at the assortment of cards she handed him.

He picked one at random and scribbled "Donna" onto it, handing it back to the cashier and rattling off the address and office floor.

Something inside of him was shifting, it made him uneasy.

Donna looked up in surprised at the sound of her name. A young man with a cap that read "Banchet Flowers" handed her a vase with five gerbera daisies tied with a cheerful blue ribbon. He gave her a friendly salute and sauntered off. Donna set the flowers carefully on her desk, and lifted the card that held only her name in Harvey's untidy scrawl. She swallowed hard. They were only flowers; they weren't supposed to make her heart fill this way until it seemed to be almost bursting.

Donna glanced at Harvey who was watching her, his expression unreadable.

She pressed the intercom button, not breaking eye contact.

"Thank you, they're beautiful."  
"So are you." He said, his lips curving in a slight smile before he went back to his work.

It was stupid, the way a simple gesture could undo her. She snuck a glance back at Harvey before touching the petals lightly.

She was in trouble, she thought.

A/N: I felt like I needed some Harvey/Donna fluffiness for what's ahead.


	6. Chapter 6

Harvey reached for Donna and was momentarily confused when his hand skimmed across empty space. It had become a habit these past few weeks, just a slight brush of his hand over her skin as if to reassure himself she was there. The apartment felt too big and quiet as he prepared for the day. He'd gotten used to hearing her voice, sleepy and quiet at first, then bright and punctuated with laughter as she woke. She'd cleared all her things from his apartment before leaving and he couldn't quite pinpoint why it bothered him so much.

His footsteps seemed to echo as he walked across the floor. Most women left touches of themselves wherever they went, a misplaced earring or hairpin, a tube of lipstick. There was nothing of Donna's, not even a lingering scent. It was almost as if the past month and a half hadn't happened. Now that he thought of it, she acted more like a houseguest than a, well a lover. He frowned, had she been standing with one foot out the door this whole time? Harvey dismissed the thought, Donna didn't play games, and if she wanted out she would say so.

Harvey checked his phone, wondering if she'd left yet. Donna had insisted on staying in her own apartment, and he'd ended up staying at the office until almost ten. Harvey stashed his phone back into his pocket. She could have called to let him know she was leaving, he thought irritably.

It was a four hour drive to upstate Cortland, New York. You could shave off about thirty minutes if you left the city before rush hour, but that would mean skipping her traditional bag of road trip donuts from Bottega Falai. She blasted the radio in the rental car as she drove north. About 20 miles before the I-80 merged into the 385w the scenery changed and the air lost that dirty tinge of pollution. Donna felt the stress of the city melt away as she watched trees and grass fly by. It was always funny to her that she never realized how much pressure and stress she dealt with daily until she stepped away from it all. Of course, more than a week outside the city and she was itching for the fast pace and crowded streets again.

His meetings dragged on until five, and once again Harvey appreciated how Donna kept things running so smoothly. He massaged his temples wearily as he stared at the paperwork in front of him. His phone buzzed once and he snatched it up, not expecting the wash of disappointment when he saw it was merely one of the reminders Donna had set up on his phone.

Eat dinner, you get cranky when you skip meals.

Harvey's lips twitched in amusement and he missed her so suddenly and viciously that he set his phone down in surprise. She'd been gone much longer before, and yes he'd missed her then as well, but not like this, not this deep need to hear her voice after less than twenty-four hours apart. He had flashes of his father, reduced to a drunken mess after his mother had left. The father who had laughed and played ridiculous games of three man baseball with rules that changed on a whim, replaced with the stone faced man who never smiled and drank until he fell asleep.

His father had gotten past it eventually, had seen that he had two sons who needed him so he'd poured out his liquor and gotten dressed, but the devastatingly beautiful sound of his saxophone never sounded again.

Harvey still remembered the night after their mother had left, when he'd been awoken by a sound that made his stomach clench. He'd gone down the stairs to find his father on his knees holding a picture of his mother and weeping. The sound was full of such gut-wrenching pain that he remembered stumbling backwards and feeling his own eyes fill. Something had changed in him that day. An iron wall had slammed down in front of his heart, and nobody could breach it.

Donna changed things.

He could see now how a woman could grab hold of a man and reduce him to nothing when she let go. Over the years a secret part of him had been ashamed of his father's weakness. He should have known that sometimes despite your best efforts, you met the one person who you couldn't live without.

Harvey stood abruptly as the pieces slowly fell into place. It was as if he finally understood why his father had fallen apart when his mother left. When your life became so entwined with someone else, when someone else became the reason you laughed, the reason you smiled, it was impossible to stay whole when they suddenly left you.

Harvey clenched his jaw and strode to the window overlooking the city. The movement and light should have soothed him, but it only served to further aggravate him.

How did he miss the similarities between his mother and Donna? They both had bright magnetic personalities, they were both mesmerizingly beautiful. They were the kind of people that drew admirers like moths to a flame. She was probably fending off some over eager male advance right now, or was she? Was she turning to another man right now, flattered by his charm? Was she letting another man caress her skin when-

"Hey Harvey, I was wondering if- oh holy shit…" Mike trailed off and stared at Harvey in horror as he whipped around, his fists white at the knuckles.

"Did I do something?" Mike's voice was quiet.

"No," Harvey growled staring at his phone. Still no call from Donna, his finger hovered over her name for a second before he hurled the phone at the wall where it shattered. He always did have a good arm.

Mike jumped at the sound and looked helplessly from Harvey to the wall and back.

"Um, did you still want me to help you get this paperwork done?" he gestured to the files on Harvey's desk.

"Yes" Harvey said wearily, staring at his phone laying in pieces on the carpet.

"Okay I'll just take it then" Mike said, scooping up the files and easing towards the doorway.

"Oh just relax," Harvey said and pointed to the couch. "Sit, I'll be back."

Mike settled on Harvey's couch and watched him walk out. He would bet money on the fact that it had something to do with Donna. In the time he had worked for Harvey he had come to know his moods and when to lie low, especially when the source of his sour mood was Donna. There was the one time he and Harvey had seen Donna at the end of a date one evening, wrapped in some guy's arms. Harvey had turned left so quickly he'd nearly bowled Mike over, and Mike was sure Donna still didn't know that Harvey had seen her. They had sniped at each other for a week after that, and Mike had found himself in the crossfire more often than not.

He hadn't thought much of it then. Harvey didn't like it when other people touched his stuff; and he saw Donna as his, he was kind of a dick like that. The real illuminating moment had been when Donna had gotten fired. He'd never seen Harvey act so erratically or lose his temper so often. Of course Mike would rather gnaw off his own arm before confronting Harvey about Donna so he had just gone along, slipping away when Harvey's mood turned south and popping back in when he appeared calmer. Deciding that was the best course of action in this particular situation as well, Mike attacked the paperwork furiously.

There was a glorious comfort in coming home, knowing there was one place in this world where you would always be welcomed and never lonely. Twin bullets of fur shot out of the yard as she parked her car and Donna was engulfed in slobbering kisses and excited yips. Her mother appeared at the doorway as Donna struggled under the weight of the massive golden retrievers.

"Nick! Norma!" The dogs stopped mid bark and trotted back to their owner, tongues lolling.

Lynn Paulsen smiled warmly as her daughter stood up from the grass.

Donna brushed at the fur on her clothes and went to her mother, wrapping her in a warm embrace.

"Is that my baby come home to see her daddy?" Her father's voice boomed behind her.

Donna launched herself into her father's arms, laughing as he smothered her in a hug. At six two, Jim Paulsen was a bear of a man. He had passed on his razor sharp wit and fiery red hair to his daughter, but she'd gotten her delicate beauty and iron spine from her mother. Donna had barely a moment to greet her parents when her nieces and nephews raced out to meet her. They were a mix of childish giggles and excited shrieks as they greeted the aunt who always snuck them treats when their mothers weren't looking. There were six including Maddie, the newest grandbaby at eight months old. Donna scooped her out of her younger sister's arms and covered her face in kisses.

"Oh my god she's so big!" Donna smiled down at the pudgy little darling in her arms. Curly blonde ringlets and bright blue eyes reminded her of a baby angel and Donna gave her another squeeze.

"Debbie she's beautiful!" Donna said, kissing her sister's cheek.

"What? No kiss for your big sister?" Danielle said, pulling Donna into a warm embrace.

Donna felt a round bump as her sister hugged her and immediately stepped back.

"Oh my god you're pregnant again?"

Danielle huffed out a breath and crossed her arms.

"Dammit Donna I was trying to keep it a surprise! Mom guessed as soon as she saw me."  
Donna laughed placed a hand on her sister's slightly rounding belly.

"How far along are you? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm only eight weeks, I didn't even find out until last week when my jeans didn't zip."

Danielle rubbed a lazy hand over her slight belly and sighed.

"The doctor said I'm showing a lot earlier because it's my third pregnancy, and because there are two babies in there," She said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Another set of twins?" Donna said in delight, grabbing her sister in a hug.

"You do realize you are going to have five children right?" Donna said in amazement, looking at the kids running with the dogs.

"Yeah Adam almost passed out in the doctor's office, it was great." Danielle said, laughing at her husband who gave his wife a playful nudge.

"She's lying; I took it like a man. I have super sperm," He said, pinching his wife's chin as she wrinkled her nose.

"Oh geeze, don't start up with that again." Danielle said, smiling up at her husband, love and affection shimmering in her gaze.

Donna felt a longing tug in her belly as she looked at them but she shook it off almost immediately, she didn't want to think about Harvey.

Lynn noticed the look on her daughters face and wondered, deciding that it was high time they had a one on one talk again.

Because the prospect of going home just wasn't appealing, Harvey immersed himself in work. He resurfaced around midnight at the sound of a snore. Mike lay with his head back on the couch, the file on his lap open. Harvey missed the days when he could just sleep anywhere without waking up and feeling a hundred years old.

"Hey," Harvey nudged Mike with his foot, "go home."

Mike woke with a jolt and the file on his lap slid to the floor.

"What time is it?" Mike grunted, squinting at the watch he wore facing backwards.

"It's late enough. Go home we can finish this on Monday," Harvey said cracking his neck.

Mike collected the scattered papers on the floor.

"No it's fine, I can stay and help you finish."

Harvey raised his eyebrow and looked at Mike.

"So you can be snoring on my couch again in five minutes? Go."

Mike rubbed his eyes and collected his things.

"Are you coming?" He asked, pausing in the doorway.

"Do you need me to walk you home?" Harvey asked with a sneer.

"Hilarious, I was just worried about you. People your age need their sleep." Mike quipped, ready to bolt if Harvey snarled at him.

"Are you finished?"

Mike smirked and hitched his bag over his shoulder.

"Are you and Donna fighting?" Mike asked, already regretting the words as they left his mouth. He really needed to work on his impulse control.

"When have Donna and I ever been your business?"

Mike lifted his hands in surrender and backed away.

"You know you can always call her," he said.

Harvey glared at his broken phone and sat heavily at his desk. Things were changing fast, and he didn't like it. He should never have kissed her that day in his office, she was too risky, she meant too damn much.

"So, what are you hiding from?"

Donna jumped, nearly spilling the tea she sipped in front of the fire.

"Geeze mom," she muttered, setting her cup down.

"Or should I say who are you hiding from?"

Donna shook her head.

"I'm not hiding from anyone; I came to see my parents. Remember how you're always nagging me to visit?"

Lynn sighed and sat down, laying a comforting arm on her daughter's thigh.

"You always were good at masking your feelings, but a mother knows her child."

Donna grabbed her cup again, taking a steadying sip.

"I can't talk about it mom."

"Oh come on now I've taught you better than that, do you want me to bring your father in to hammer it out of you?"

Donna winced at the threat and set her cup down.

"I'm sleeping with Harvey," she said sliding a gaze to her mother who had a sympathetic smile on her face. "You already knew?" Donna asked in surprise.

"I had that same look of horror on my face when I realized I was in love with your father." Lynn said, settling back into the couch.

"He's not ready for it." Donna said sadly and looked up at her mother "I'm not sure I am either."

"It's not easy being vulnerable." Lynn said, watching her daughter fiddling with the bracelet on her arm. "He's a good man."

"Not many people would say that." Donna said, shaking her head.

"Not many people care to look past the surface of things, but you do, he's lucky to have you."

"Damn lucky," Donna smiled.

"You need to tell him,"

Donna looked up at her mother, eyes wide with fear.

"I can't."

"I didn't raise my daughter to be a coward."

Donna cursed and stood pacing the room.

"It's not the same as it was with daddy! You knew dad loved you. I can't tell with Harvey, he's so easy to read it's a joke, but when it comes to this I can't see."

"Sometimes the scariest steps are the most rewarding."

Donna ran her hand through her hair and sat heavily on the arm of the couch.

"I just don't think I can get over it if he pushes me away again. He's…" Donna trailed off shrugging her shoulders helplessly.

"He's everything?" Her mother finished for her.

"Yeah," Donna said closing her eyes in defeat.

"So you tell him, figure out if he feels the same and if he doesn't, you move on."  
Donna looked helplessly at her mother.

"That's just it, I feel like this time I can't move on."

"You can always move on, you inherited that stubborn streak from your father."

"He says I got it from you."

"The idiot man doesn't know what he's talking about." Lynn snapped.

Donna laughed and scooted closer to her mother, laying her head on her shoulder.

"Thanks mom."

Harvey woke up groggy and irritable. He'd spent the night tossing and turning in his bed, images of Donna floating through his mind. At one point he'd woken up with rage burning in his chest as the vision of Donna arching under a faceless stranger slowly faded. The nightmare made his stomach roll. He knew he was wrong, one of the reasons he trusted Donna above anyone else was her unyielding loyalty.

His past haunted him, that old pulsing pain resurfacing after so many years.

His mother had never regretted cheating on his father. Harvey had never been able to tell him, could only watch in helpless anger as his mother spent the next two years screwing the neighbor. She'd broken Harvey's heart that day too, by so callously betraying the man she promised forever.

Harvey struggled with the terrible knowledge as his father kissed his mother every morning, unknowingly kissing the lips that had been on another's. He'd watched for two years as his father told his mother how beautiful she was, how much he loved her, an oblivious fool.

The sad thing was Harvey had loved his mother just as desperately. She was all warm smiles and tight hugs, she was the loudest parent at his baseball games, she always kissed him goodnight, always listened when he needed to talk. One fateful day he'd ducked out of school early, thinking no one would be home as he'd snuck in the back door, only to be met by the sight that would eventually rip their family apart.

His mother had come into his room that night with tears running down her face, begging him to talk to her. He'd shut the door in her face. It took only two years for her to decide that she was done with her family and leave them completely shattered without a second thought.

Harvey shook his head. He wasn't going to open that part of himself again, as far as he was concerned, it was dead. There was an imbalance when it came to him and Donna. He needed her, he fell apart without her, but she moved on, she never needed anyone. How long before she decided that this arrangement of theirs just wasn't enough. Her sisters were married and popping kids out left and right, what if she wanted that too?

He could end this now, before it tore him apart.

Harvey sipped the strong coffee steaming in his hand. He would just tell her when she got back, hey it's been fun, but …

And he'd most likely end up with his balls in his throat, he thought humorlessly.

The weekend was over almost before it began and Donna hugged her parents tightly as she put her last bag in the trunk.

"Please visit more often, I miss you so much when you're gone." Lynn said, squeezing her daughter tightly.

"I promise," Donna said, stepping back and getting into the car. She waved one last time and drove off, watching her family grow smaller in the rearview mirror.

The nerves started vibrating in her system the moment she hit Manhattan. She chugged water and nearly choked as her throat tightened. She could easily chicken out and go home to her apartment, but the truth was she missed Harvey. She just wanted one more night before she possibly destroyed everything they had. The thought depressed her. Why couldn't she have gone and fallen in love with some nice man who didn't have all this emotional baggage, not to mention the less than pleasant personality, she thought with a smirk.

Donna parked the car in the underground garage in Harvey's building. Her hands shook as she locked the door and she took a steadying breath. A thousand butterflies flapped erratically in her belly, she couldn't remember ever being this nervous.

Oh calm down, she berated herself. He was completely blind in this area; he wouldn't know a woman in love with him if she painted herself blue and danced the conga.

She pulled out her phone and called him to buzz her in, frowning in surprise when it went straight to voicemail. Probably forgot his phone at the office again, she thought. Donna greeted the doorman and asked him to buzz Harvey for her.

"Mr. Specter, Miss Donna Paulsen to see you."

The doorman nodded at something Harvey said and opened the door for Donna, tipping his hat as she passed him. Donna keyed in the four digit code to Harvey's personal elevator and an odd anticipation rose at the thought of seeing him. She saw first his bare feet, then his legs and torso and finally his face set in a grim expression. Too much stress, she thought affectionately and smiled at him, her heart blooming as his face smoothed out and relaxed into a smile.

Donna stepped out of the glass elevator and their hands touched the door to his apartment at the same time. Harvey pulled it open and Donna stepped inside, letting out a rush of air as his lips collided with hers. Her bag dropped to the floor as she wound her arms around him, her system churning with the drug it had been craving all along.

"Wow," she said breathlessly when he released her, "guess you really missed me."

"A little," he said with a grin, grabbing her bag and taking her coat.

Donna unwound the scarf from her neck and set it on a chair.

"Please tell me you have food somewhere I'm starving!"

"I have leftover Chinese in the fridge," Harvey called from the bedroom, dropping her bag on the floor beside the bed.

Donna dug into the cold noodles, watching as he moved around the kitchen cleaning the dishes that had piled up over the weekend.

He wore a light blue linen shirt rolled up to his forearms, and unbuttoned at the neck. A wave of lust rolled through her and she tossed the noodles into the trash, a slow smile curving her lips.

Harvey turned to see her smiling at him and raised his eyebrow.

"I may be wrong but are you coming on to me?"

Donna nodded, and stepped up to him, covering his mouth with hers. She nipped his bottom lip and sent a jolt of need right through him.

"I really missed you," She murmured, unbuttoning his shirt and letting her fingers slide over his chest. The feel of him under her hands knocked her pulse up a few hard beats and she sighed into the kiss, trembling slightly when his hand skimmed the side of her neck.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

They collided with the counter and Donna's hands pulled impatiently at Harvey's shirt, tugging it off and tossing it aside. The counter bit into her back as her fingers curled into a fist in his hair. The taste of him coursed through her blood and made her mind go blank. Desperate for more of him, she tugged at his waistband, only to find herself being lifted onto the counter.

"Slow down," Harvey groaned, tugging her hair back to feast on her neck. Donna wrapped her legs around him, grinding her hips against his. His hand streaked under her shirt and skillfully maneuvered her out of her bra and her body jerked as his hand closed around her breast.

"Harvey," She gasped rocking against him, her system churning with need.

"Bed," He grunted out, lifting her from the counter and stumbling towards the bedroom.

He laid her on the bed and stepped out of his slacks, watching her with dark eyes as she wiggled out of her jeans and tossed her blouse to the side.

Her heart caught in her throat as he lowered himself to her, nipping at her jaw. The words she so desperately wanted to tell him stuck in her chest. He moved slowly now, his hands brushing almost reverently over her. He pressed his face to the side of her neck as he slid into her, teasing them both with only the slightest of movement. His mouth closed over her breast and she gave a sharp gasp as the first orgasm shot through her. He held her as her body quaked, moving inside her with that same torturously slow rhythm.

Their eyes met and held and Donna felt herself slipping, she had no choice but to allow him to touch her heart. The air changed and he thrust more deeply into her, her legs wrapped around him again as she felt that build up of delicious pressure. He thrust harder and faster, his eyes never leaving hers. She felt herself going over the edge and her eyes fluttered closed.

"Look at me," he gasped and she did, helpless to hide the love that shone in her eyes. The orgasm ripped through her, leaving her limp with satisfaction. She saw his eyes go dark as he stiffened and collapsed on top of her in a final hard thrust. He rolled to the side and pulled her against him, their legs tangling together.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

His fingers brushed idly through her hair and she felt herself drift off as his heart beat steadily in her ear. Minutes passed as they lay in that dreamy state between wakefulness and sleep until Harvey shifted beside her.

"I need water," he said thickly

"Harvey," the words died on the tip of her tongue.

"Yes?"

"Grab me a glass too?" She asked, smiling at him despite the painful throbbing in her chest. Donna watched him leave and stood from his bed, grabbing a shirt he'd tossed over a chair. She sniffed it once, satisfied that it was clean enough, and slipped it on.

He found her perched on the side of his bed, wearing one of his old sleep shirts and he felt his chest tighten. She looked so stunningly beautiful, long legs tucked under her as she typed something into her phone. He set the glass beside her and toyed with the ends of her hair as she smiled up at him.

"Give me your phone; I have to schedule a last minute meeting for tomorrow afternoon."

Harvey thought of the shattered phone and stepped away, feeling his shoulders tense.

"I lost it," he said with his back to her.

"You always do that, do you need me to pick up a new one tomorrow?"

Harvey debated only a moment before turning around again.

"Why didn't you call?"  
"What?"

"When you were at your parents, you didn't call once, why?" Harvey demanded, he was starting to feel the irritation begin to surface again.

Donna looked up at him in confusion.

"I didn't think to... I don't know, you could have called me if you wanted to." Donna finished, a frown marring her brow.

Harvey let out a smirk and shook his head angrily, he had been so stupid.

"I get it."

"What do you get exactly?" Donna asked, her tone dangerously even.

"What you were doing," Harvey said, setting his glass down with a snap.

"What the hell was I doing Harvey?"

"What all women do, you play a bunch of mind games trying to get your way. Manipulating men into doing exactly what you want, you wanted me to call you, to come crawling after you like some pathetic puppy begging for scraps. Well you can forget it; I don't want a commitment Donna." He spat out.

He was too angry to notice how pale she went.

"You arrogant bastard" she hissed, grabbing her jeans and pulling them on.

"Do you think for one second I sat there and planned that? I didn't call you because I was with my family Harvey, and I knew if I called you that you'd freak out and start feeling smothered because you're incapable of carrying on a normal human relationship!"

"Then why the hell did you bother coming back tonight?"

"I don't know," Donna said, grabbing her bag and walking out his bedroom. Harvey followed her, anger pulsing in his blood.

"Was this all some elaborate ploy to wrap me around your finger until I couldn't function without you, so that you could-"  
"Just stop right there!" Donna yelled her eyes bright with fury.

"You once told me that I was the one person you trusted above all others, what the hell happened?"

"I didn't say I trusted you with this," Harvey said feeling suddenly unbearably tired. "We can't, this…" He gestured to the space between them. "It will never work."  
He didn't look at her, only waited as the silence stretched painfully long.

Harvey felt her hand caress his jaw and longed to let the gesture sooth the sharp raw edges, but he grabbed her hand instead and moved it, finally looking at her.

He saw her love for him, as clear and bright as sunshine, and he wanted nothing more than to reach for that, to grab onto that beaming light and hold on.

"I don't love you," he said, pain slicing his heart as he watched her eyes cloud with hurt.

"Okay," Donna said, stepping back and slipping on her coat. He watched her go to the door and step into the elevator, turning her back to him as she rode down. Her back was rigid and she held herself with a noble composure he could only admire. A bitter emptiness filled him as he came to terms with the fact that this was the last time he would see her. He didn't want to think about Monday morning and that empty desk, a future that didn't hold her. Harvey sat heavily on the couch and waited for his heart to go numb. The decanter of brandy taunted him but he didn't touch it, the expensive liquor was a symbol of his victory, and he refused to taint it with this. Using alcohol to numb the feelings inside him was a sign of weakness, and he wouldn't succumb to it.

She didn't cry, not in the elevator as she left his building, not in the car, and not on the way up to her apartment. She didn't cry when she closed the door and set her purse on the table, but she cried when she saw the beaming yellow daisies wrapped in blue ribbon on her coffee table. She stood and stared at the reminder of what was and let her heart finally break. It felt like everything inside of her had been ripped out and flung so far away she would be empty forever, but she would get through this too. It would take time and hurt like hell, but she was nothing if not bullheaded and stubborn. Donna Paulsen didn't pine over anyone, not even Harvey Specter.


End file.
